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dirty girls

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Where's the dirt?!?!?! [08 Mar 2006|09:10pm]

It's so quiet out there in dirty-girl world!!!
I know you're all sitting at your desks enjoying the rich, corn-chippy smell of your own dirty feet (like I am), farting out something resembling the odor of the Flint River (like I am), running fingers through hair that's gone unwashed for 5 days or more at a stretch to keep the color fresh and super-shiny (like I am), or at least picking your noses (which I aint).

So let's hear it....
splish splash

[17 Jan 2006|08:47pm]

my names sandy
i'm new

the only confessions i can think of right now are that i went without showering for a whole summer once and that i tend to wear my underpants for weeks at a time

if i think of any great storys i'll be sure to share
splish splash

I peed on the mall! [17 Jul 2005|12:50pm]

I was with a few friends (usually when I tell this story, I like to give it a Teen Magazines confession feel by saying "me and my best friend Sally were with 3 really cute boys..." which is true) looking for the arcade at the mall. We got there late, and soon after we got there they announced that they were closing. Sally and I both had to pee really bad, so we started looking for a bathroom. We thought we were following the signs for the bathroom, but all 5 of us found ourselves in the inner-back hallways of the mall, where the customers aren't really supposed to go. We wandered around in there - the need to pee getting worse and worse - going up and down stairs, through strange corridors, and then through a strange refrigerator-looking door and suddenly we were on the outside of the mall with no way to get back in. Well, the parking lot was almost deserted by this point since the mall had already closed, so I suggested to Sally that we just pee on the mall. There was a diagonal line of shrubbery that was mostly shielding us from the parking lot, so we went for it. Luckily, we were both wearing skirts, so we took off our underwear, squatted down, and went to town. I don't know if they had security cameras or what, but from inside the door we were peeing on came a crashing BOOM BOOM BOOM. We both jumped up and took off running in opposite directions (I hurdled the shrubbery), but I had to pee so bad that there was no stopping once I started. In my mad dash, I peed all over myself. When I found Sally, she told me the same thing had happened to her. So, we all got back in the car, but no one was willing to sit in the back seat with the urine-girls, so we had to sit together in the front seat. They took us to Denny's to get cleaned up in the bathroom, where there was a fried chicken dinner, a bottle of Wild Irish Rose, and a puddle of vomit all surrounding the toilet. I felt real clean after that.

Another time I got tired of waiting for the women's bathroom at McDonalds on a bus trip, so I went with a friend (probably Sally again) into the men's bathroom. She took the toilet, and I thought to try to use the urinal. I ended up peeing on the floor.

And in one last dirtygrrl's confession - I put garlic in my hoo-ha when I feel an infection coming on.
3 kids in a puddle | splish splash

[05 Jul 2005|09:02pm]

hey everyone. ive been a member of this community for over a year. i recently returned to lj to learn that you beautiful ladies have not kicked me out yet, which i found to be most kind. so i figured as a token of my gratitude id post something disgusting...

a few weeks ago, i took a small bite of a polydent denture cleansing tablet. it stung.

i also put mint chapstick on my eyeball...

and i have two festering fever blisters on my mouth at the moment. oh, and i queef on command. skilllllllz.

thanks for not deleting me =)
2 kids in a puddle | splish splash

[03 Jun 2005|11:32pm]

[ mood | busy ]


I just put my hand against the bottom of the computer chair and it's totally covered in dried boogers. I don't think all of them are mine.

Yesterday I was cooking up some meat for making tacos and when I was draining the grease from the pan I managed to spill like more than half of the beef right into the sink. It wasn't dirty but it was a little bit soapy. And I just put it back into the pan and cooked it a little bit longer, then served it up like nothing happened. *humms innocently*

splish splash

[24 Mar 2005|10:19pm]

i did this to my knee because i am a moron.Collapse )
6 kids in a puddle | splish splash

[24 Mar 2005|10:37pm]

My dog is a better kisser than yours.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us</a>>
2 kids in a puddle | splish splash

[11 Mar 2005|05:12pm]

[ mood | accomplished ]

Hey, kiddies. This is the maintainer of the community, and I just wanted to let everyone know that I really don't tolerate any promoting of other communities here unless it's just like, tacked onto the end of a post that actually has something to do with the community.

Nor do I expect any of you to go out and promote this community. It's little, and it's not updated a billion times a day, but I like the people who do post here and I don't need to go out and beg for new members. =P

Anyway, I just went through and removed a bunch of folks whose journals were deleted or suspended, and also removed a few spammers from the community. If your journal was deleted and I removed you from the community, feel free to re-join, obviously.

(p.s. my rat died the other day and she is currently residing in my freezer in a plastic bag. right next to the frozen waffles. heh.)

1 kid in a puddle | splish splash

I'm New. [26 Feb 2005|04:15pm]

[ mood | anxious ]

A couple weeks ago, me and a friend were popping squats in an alley before a show.
Because my motor skills were somewhat impaired, I slipped and my purse fell right in the big ass puddle of my own piss. I had a shirt and bandana that I wore the night before in my purse, so I used that to wipe off all the pee.
The next day, I wore the foul smelling bandana and somehow the shirt managed to stay in my purse for the next few days.

splish splash

[16 Jan 2005|11:12pm]

You really want to hear something gross?

Last night I decided, since every other girl at school went to a big dance, that I would take painkillers and watch the history channel.

A total of five vicodin went down the hatch, but LO ONE CAME BACK UP WITH A BURP AND SOME STOMACH STUFF.

I couldn't bear to see it wasted.

I spit it up into a cup. Waited 20 minutes.

And I ate it.

A one-girl game of Baby Bird.

If you can't figure out what a game called Baby Bird is about, then I don't know what to do with you....
splish splash

[12 Jan 2005|04:59pm]

[ mood | pleased ]

i go to the beach and rub the wet sand in my hair like shampoo and leave it in for a little while and then wash it off in the ocean. and then i won't wash it for a long time because i hate when its untangled and poofy. and i share popsicles with my dog, and cat (he has quite an appetite on him). i have no idea why anyone would think this to be unattractive.

1 kid in a puddle | splish splash

[20 Nov 2004|03:31pm]


I've been sick for four weeks. I love coughing up lung butter.

Oh, and I blew my nose on my mom's cat.


splish splash

[15 Oct 2004|09:03pm]

Today I fished a bag of bagels out of a dumpster. And sat in the corner for a while watching a very active maggot colony on some rancid meat. I have been unrepentantly picking my nose in public for days due to uncomfortable sharp boogers. My pants have berry guts all over the butt from Mikey's truck. My shirts are covered in stains from burrito guts.

I have not changed my socks in a while. I feel so righteous.

Come on, don't tell me you all took showers and stopped grossing out all and sundry?!
splish splash

[14 Sep 2004|05:07pm]

I haven't updated in a while. But I wear the same pants every day. And I haven't washed them since I took them in. That was sometime in July or August.

Also, public urination is THE BEST. Peeing inside is just not the same.

Other gross happenings of late:
-Hockering and spitting, regardless of where I am or who/what I'm aiming at.
-Wearing the same shirt to bed and the whole day for the past two weeks or so.

I think I'm going to go pee. Outside. In the rain.
splish splash

"Ahhh, the STINK of clean..." -Invader Zim [08 Sep 2004|06:57pm]

Hi I'm a n00b here.

How many of you find yourself wondering how most girls can stand being the way they are? Like shaving, and always caking on makeup... not letting out gas.. just being.... clean. I find it odd that someone can shove a tampon up their bleeding cunt, but not be able to touch a slug cos it's "eww gross!"

I dunno. I used to be ashamed to be the way I am cos I got picked on in school. But the way I see it now.. why take a shower if yer just gonna end up dirty again? Why bother shaving, it's just gonna grow back and you'll have to do it again in a few days. To me it's just a waste of time, money, and water. Sure, I'll shave my armpits after a while just cos they get annoying and itchy if I don't. And private parts cos well.. I like it smooth *_*

Ahhh, TMI, I know.

But really.. being an ordinary squeaky-clean girlie-girl must be pretty boring and annoying. Always doing what other people want... I'd never surrender myself to someone else like that. Everything I do, I do cos it's comfortable. I'd never be able to sit comfortable knowing I live for other people. To me, they're the "dirty" ones.

So... hi!!
5 kids in a puddle | splish splash

[05 Sep 2004|03:49pm]

I got superbly stoned last night and took out a goodly amount of Cooler Ranch Doritos.

I have been having the most putrid shits on earth. Dear god.

But I met a nice girl named Lacey who can belch and fart on command. We peed in a parking lot and took pictures. Ooo yeah, we make our own fun on islands.
splish splash

[28 Aug 2004|03:39pm]
as some people know my 21st birthday was a few weeks ago.

i unclogged a toilet with my bare hands. i was really shitty wasted and we were in a small bar... bartender lady would have known if i clogged up the freakin toilet.

and no, it wasn't like it was a donkey crap or anything. i puked a bunch.
1 kid in a puddle | splish splash

[27 Aug 2004|04:50pm]

Today I dug my lunch out of a dumpster, hocked a lot of loogies, smoked unfiltered cigarettes, and smelled my armpits in public with no consideration for subtlety or the comfort of others.

I pity girls who feel the need to look and be all clean just to please other people. That must suck.
splish splash

[27 Aug 2004|07:46pm]

another school story - i slept in the handicapped stall of the bathroom on the padding around the toilet seat. for some reason, it was really dusty, but i had white chalk-dust type smears all over my jacket when i left.
2 kids in a puddle | splish splash

[23 Aug 2004|11:34pm]

[ mood | dirty ]

when i was in physics this morning, i realised that there were certain clumps of hair that were so crusty they couldn't move.
the girl behind me was horrified when i started rubbing my hair & dandruff fell like snowflakes. <3 hello, dirty girls.

5 kids in a puddle | splish splash

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